The "Gray Man" Is Everywhere — Did You Notice Him?

Photo illustration from Survival Sullivan

The "gray man" is everywhere. You just have not been noticing him. Maybe the COVID pandemic with its lockdowns and "vaccination papers, please" has kicked a lot of people into thinking about how to go unnoticed. Gray Man is a movie title. There are two thriller book series: The Gray Man and The Grey Man, quite different from each other and not really what I mean here, except with the idea of "not attracting notice."

The "gray man/gray woman" concept is all over websites for preppers (formerly known as survivalists).

 "The Gray Man Concept," and How to Be a Gray Man"

The same attire and mode of behavior in the middle of a larger city’s financial district will see you blend in effortlessly with the tens of thousands of office drones and cubicle commandos going about their day will see you stand out like a neon sign in a small village an hour outside of the city limits.

How to Be a Gray Man"

The gray man is invisible. He is undetectable, unremarkable, and flies by a hysteric crowd like a stealth aircraft. The gray man can bug out safely to a secure location without raising any flags, or bug in without being suspicious to the Joneses.

 "41 Essential Rules to Become the Gray Man" 

Forty-one? Will they all be on the test?

"Urban Survival Tactic: How To Become A Gray Man"

Knowing how to be a gray man is quite possibly the greatest urban survival skill that anyone can learn. No fancy equipment, no fancy gadgets, just good old fashion common sense combined with intuition and innovation. Find out how you can be invisible in a sea of a million people.

Even without racheting up the paranoia, there are plenty of day-to-day reasons for not wanting to attract attention. Maybe you just don't want to look like a tourist — an obvious mark for beggers and hustlers.    

A few personal observations:

 • In some areas, my technique was to carry a local newspaper, back when newspapers were more of a thing. A shopping bag from a local grocer helps too. 

•  Outside the US and parts of Canada, no cargo shorts. How often, for example, do you see a mature Mexican man wearing shorts?

• Never wear a convention nametag on city streets. I have seen people astonished when some total stranger comes up with "Hey, Jason, how you doin'?" as an opening to trying to hit them up for something.

• As some writers note, sometimes you just cannot blend in, as when I lived in Mandeville, Jamaica, as a teenager. The best that I could do was not look like a tourist but more like . . . a British expat? My school uniform (DeCarteret College) was a help — in fact, it was gray, shirt and trousers! — but I wore it only when going to and from.

• In some areas, a middle-aged man and a woman walking together are obviously tourists, unless they do so when locals do, such as attending cultural events or church. Having children in the group may or may not contribute to that impression. (Funny, the writers do not mention children for the most part.)

• Most of the writing is pointed at men. Many women have figured this stuff out on their own already. ("Always wear shoes you can run in," and so on.)

• I have often tried to follow this advice as stated by Dan F. Sullivan: 

When you walk, especially from home, don’t always take the same route. Change it a little bit. Go faster or slower. Take entirely new or roundabout ways coming and going. This will also help you familiarize yourself with the different ways to get home, or to bug out.

Speaking of walking, this is key: "Learning to walk like the natives walk will hide you better than just about anything else." 

• It's funny to see professional preppers, etc., writing to endorse a trend for which they cannot sell you anything. You get your gray man/woman clothes at big box retailers, and if you want gray gray, you go to the work clothes rack at Tractor Supply, etc. Around here the "etc." would be a Big R store. I shop there now and then.

Some people are trying to sell "urban backpacks" and stuff — often in gray — but I think that "gray people" buy theirs at the thrift store. I did. It's black, has no dangly bits, and an inoffensive Toyota logo.